Friday, March 18, 2011

My Name is Lisa and I’m Judgmental

I think it’s time to just own it. I judge people all the time. I judge them based on what they say, what they do, how their kids behave, their grammar and spelling, and while it’s not my practice to judge people’s clothing, shoes, purses, I will admit to judging those who commit particularly egregious fashion faux pas. I think it’s better to admit it than to pretend I don’t do it. It feels like a relief to get it off my chest.
I’d like to take a moment to reflect on the various things for which I judge my fellow man (and woman). I judge people based on what they say, mostly based on the veracity of their statements. When someone tells me a lie or even just makes a statement that is factually inaccurate, I feel like they either think I’m stupid, or they themselves are not that bright. I hate liars and only dislike dull-witted folks slightly less than that. Unless they are really funny. I can tolerate a little stupidity for a good laugh down the line.
I definitely judge people based on how their kids behave. If you are raising the Tasmanian Devil and you think it’s cute, you are the exact kind of person I feel an overwhelming desire to slap upside the noggin. Your kids are annoying and you are irresponsible. We don’t want you coming to our house to leave it looking like New Orleans after Katrina hit. Keep your poorly behaved, no-rules-following kids at home, or on a leash. There I said it. Suck on THAT lollipop for a while.
Here’s my take on grammar and spelling. Use your spell check, grammar check or get a proofreader! I believe that spelling is innate, and either you have it or you don’t, but that is why they have spell check! Show you care. And honestly, learn the difference between their, there and they’re, your and you’re, where, wear we’re and were, here and hear, and…you get it. If you misuse homophones, you will be judged. I wish I could control it, but I can’t.
Now we get to the materialistic portion of our show. Generally, I couldn’t care less if you wear a burlap sack or Prada shoes. BUT…if I see you out wearing something that could be featured on the “People of Wal Mart” website, you will be judged. And that goes for teen girls who dress like cheap hookers in short skirts and “knock me over and __ me” pumps. You’re 15…stop dressing like you belong at Hunt’s Point soliciting a $10 sexual favor!! Actually…not only I will judge you, but I will also make assumptions about your character AND I will judge your parents. My opinion is that there are certain body types that do not lend themselves well to certain styles. If I can count your lumps like the rings of Saturn, your clothes are too tight and you will be judged. Period.
You may think I am too judgmental, but frankly, I think we’ve let ourselves go. We’re so concerned with not judging anyone unfairly, we’ve let our standards slip. Thomas Hobbes and John Locke talked about the social contract. The unwritten laws of society dictate that we owe each other certain things. My feeling is that we don’t judge often or harshly enough. So, take off those ridiculous jeans, spell check your next email, and for crying out loud…discipline those little monsters you gave your DNA to!!

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