Sunday, May 15, 2011

Call of Duty

Usually I write about being a mom. I know I’ve written about my husband, but I don’t usually write specifically about being a wife. In the interests of nothing being sacred, I’m about to overshare. Tune out now if TMI is TM for you.

This morning after dropping the kids at religious school, my husband triumphantly entered the bedroom and declared, “We’re going to have sex now!” For various reasons, one of which being his recent vasectomy (nothing is sacred), and his abject fear of an accidental third child being conceived prior to said procedure (too many people told him the, “I was just about to get a vasectomy when…” story), it’s been a while. I won’t say how long, but let’s just say, long enough. TMI yet?

For various other reasons, among them, the fact that I have been up since about 4 am and haven’t showered, and have spent the past 2 weeks like a shut-in with my daughter who was recovering from her own surgery, I was not exactly raring to go. He looked like a sad puppy. I felt gross, but then, how can a gal turn down a guy who looks at her with such longing when she looks like such a mess? Every woman dreams of being so desired, right? Why is it that sometimes it feels like an obligation? We even remember hearing it called the “wifely duty.” Yuck. Who wants to do THAT??

I know I shouldn’t complain. I should be thrilled that the me I see and the me he sees are so different. I should be delighted that he doesn’t care what I smell like, or look like, or whether I’ve brushed my teeth or my hair, but it’s not always that easy. So, I try to push past it, to be the me he sees and not the me I feel like. To let his eyes be my mirror. Even though it’s difficult sometimes, it’s important to remember that I’m not just a mom, I’m a woman too. 

In the midst of our tryst, he gently kissed my forehead and whispered, “I love you.” In a moment’s time I went from feeling like a dishtowel that needed washing to feeling like a princess. Not a bad way to start the day.


  1. I admire you for your honesty! Don't worry about the 'TMI' did warn us, after all :-) This was both funny and touching too...I see the tenderness under the layer of humor, and that makes it all meaningful and worthy of being read and appreciated! And yes, men do have a tendency to 'think' with their 'anatomy' so what we see about ourselves often don't matter much to them, LOL!

    Thanks again for posting this, for your honesty! Oh and if you have time today, I'd like to invite you to stop by Catharsis cos I'm hosting a blog hop (until midnight CST tonight). Hope you can join us! See 'ya!

  2. Wow. Thank YOU! I think we all feel like this and don't feel like sharing about it. I have been so preoccupied with my daughter that I've been neglecting everything else. I am definitely popping over to Catharsis...want to see what you've been up to! And I will definitely join your blog hop! Thanks!!

  3. Hi there ! I am your latest follower, from Joy's blog hop! I like your honesty...

  4. I'm sure a lot of us prefer those ideal love making scenes in a lot of romance movies, where the woman is all dolled up, nice smelling hair, make up, sexy lingerie...but in "real life" a mother in pj's, unwashed hair, and morning glory in her eyes is just as ideal to the man she loves. Now that is what I call a "wake up" call!


  5. EXACTLY!!! you hit the nail right on the head!

  6. Hi Lisa,
    I am your newest follower. Thanks for your kind comments on my blog this weekend (Infertile Ballerina). It was just what I needed to hear. I definitely live in a communit where everyone but me (so it seems) is having babies without difficulty.

  7. Oh, I can so relate to you! Ever since the baby came, all weekly-self-pampering rituals went straight out the window! We're so lucky to have husbands who accept, love, and desire us for who we are.

    Hahaha! I really like the way you kept saying "TMI much?". Like you were placing disclaimers all over your post. Don't worry about it. It's real life for us, SAHMs. I personally appreciated the humor and honesty.

    Visiting you here via Joy's Thursday Threading Blog Hop (Week 3). Sure glad I discovered your blog!

  8. yes Mama, lots of disclaimers...but that is part of my humor! So glad you came by...I need to check out more of the blog sfrom Joy's hop.

  9. This post made me LOL! I'm sure we've all felt the same way at one time or another. :)

    New follower from voiceBoks.


  10. Oh I feel ya on this one!
    Six kids and not a moment to ourselves, so we take it when we can steal it, and it's usually when I look my worst.
    Nothing better than a husband who loves us no matter what. They have a strange was of putting things back into perspective when we least expect it.
    Hopping over from

  11. Well, at least someone is willing to say it! I think we all have had those moments and when I see what I see on TV where woman are ready at the drop of a hat or they actually start the whole thing, I wonder, is it just me or what the heck is that all about? I am a new follower thru GFC and would love a follow back so I can laugh with you! Thanks so much for your help and have a wonderful day!